it hurts more in the daytime
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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