I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
