In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
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She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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