You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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