dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
