Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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