I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
