you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
