This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
