she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
