Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
