Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize