i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
