If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
