I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize