Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
