I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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