So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
