My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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