Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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