a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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