Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
