sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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