I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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