YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
