love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
