Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
