I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
