this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
