I can tuck mytits in my pants
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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