At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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