We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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