I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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