Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
