I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
