direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
