Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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