so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
