Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
