i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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