saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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