dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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