so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
