Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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