i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize