Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
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I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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