there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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