When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
