Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize