She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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