well you can't waste a boner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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