Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she told me i tasted like america
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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