we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
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We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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