If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
