Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
