All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize