I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
