how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize