i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You've changed since you got that strap on
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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