Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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