I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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